Nell Haque

Do you remember? Like two lovers
you held my hand and said I love you?
You took me here and there,
I followed you back and forth

wherever you wished, unable to refuse
your wide black eyes that pleaded?
Do you remember? the little frogs you used to bring me,
and how you startled me with crickets,
until my fear subsided
and I learnt to play with you.
If I tied your shoes
you hugged me tightly
asking me, is it true
that you will never leave?
And I answered, never,
whilst thinking of you.

By example I taught you
the honesty of the earth
together with the truth of the sun
without even realising it.

When you were ten
you were so serious, do you remember?
You were already quite the gentlemen
at the pet shop

you were looking at the lizards
calling them by their names,
surprising the shopkeeper
he told us that one day
you’d be someone important
a scientist or a senator

I let you go out into the world
from our beloved home
I let you go without understanding
the intrigue, envy or jealousy.

I remember, when you were fifteen
you didn’t want to listen to me
there was a war between the two of us
I never gave you lectures
I’ve always said
that there’s a wolf and a sheep
inside each of us.

Wars wound without victory
and everyone wants to flee
there is death everywhere
ravaged birdsongs fall
upon our food
whistles devour the air

street corners without houses
the ground full of holes

still mastiffs conceal
the beasts within each breast
the sheep waits submissively
it does not care if it dies
whilst the beasts fight
in Cain’s wars.

Translation of ‘Cain’ by Karina Kalinkina

When I am reborn
and wake up in the arms
of a tranquil lagoon
perched on the mountain
I search for your eyes
quiet condor
to open.
As soon as morning comes
I ask you
why my brothers fight
and cry
and kill each other, sir
You say they are dy
ing for each other
deprived of love!
And I who drinks from your cup
who in my mirror
reflects them
maddened by pain
I want to hold them all
in my chest
and seal them away
with sunlight.

Translation of ‘Porque’ by Ariana Dubov

Now I know not sorrow
nor enemies neither
devoured they were
by the grace of love
that you gave me
to love through me
those who offend me
refuse me
betray me
all alone
I sit on your shores
and emerge new
persistent
alone, without promises
in me your love is complete
is invigorated and wants
to love for love’s sake
without reward
without wearying
like waves of generosity
that never cease.

Translation of ‘Sola’ by Ariana Dubov

a clear mirror
wondering eyes
born yesterday
will be a woman
to a man

inte
rrogated
sex estimated
wives
kneed into dough
each day
amassed

stimulated
intimidated
harassed
made into bread
measured and weighed
roasted or baked
we are

With my bags of dreams
I go alone
drinking this solitude of mine
as wine

In this banquet
of life
I choose to
laugh or cry
while the memories
of fleeting heavens
meld
my human sense
with the Divine

With fingers
of perception
of goodness
and Godness
love
enters my heart
and lets
my blind eyes
search deep
at the edge
where laughter
and tears
in the Being
are alive

Then, I don’t
want to go
The home is here
In my heart.

Being before you
is becoming you.

By you, love knows not
boredom, separation or pause.
Relentless the waves
of surrendering
hit, everlasting.

In your loving through me
I do become you,
I do until the cells congest
polarise
and every sound
is swallowed by the silence
in every bit of me
and every bit of me
opens and closes
again and again.

The pain the joy
the pain the joy
the pain the joy
beneath the form the pain,
beyond the form the joy,
and as the joy
hits the shore and sobs
open wide is left
the soul.

Like a good news
arriving and departing
the aroma
of the Acacias started settling.
I sat and made believe.
I waited, listened, looked
drawing a single line of delight
directed
where the buildings
the shapes and people
had gone
had passed before
away with my smile on
I stood on waiting
for the Acacias to bloom
again