Do you remember? Like two lovers
you held my hand and said I love you?
You took me here and there,
I followed you back and forth

wherever you wished, unable to refuse
your wide black eyes that pleaded?
Do you remember? the little frogs you used to bring me,
and how you startled me with crickets,
until my fear subsided
and I learnt to play with you.
If I tied your shoes
you hugged me tightly
asking me, is it true
that you will never leave?
And I answered, never,
whilst thinking of you.

By example I taught you
the honesty of the earth
together with the truth of the sun
without even realising it.

When you were ten
you were so serious, do you remember?
You were already quite the gentlemen
at the pet shop

you were looking at the lizards
calling them by their names,
surprising the shopkeeper
he told us that one day
you’d be someone important
a scientist or a senator

I let you go out into the world
from our beloved home
I let you go without understanding
the intrigue, envy or jealousy.

I remember, when you were fifteen
you didn’t want to listen to me
there was a war between the two of us
I never gave you lectures
I’ve always said
that there’s a wolf and a sheep
inside each of us.

Wars wound without victory
and everyone wants to flee
there is death everywhere
ravaged birdsongs fall
upon our food
whistles devour the air

street corners without houses
the ground full of holes

still mastiffs conceal
the beasts within each breast
the sheep waits submissively
it does not care if it dies
whilst the beasts fight
in Cain’s wars.

Translation of ‘Cain’ by Karina Kalinkina